So, as I have been reading more and more blogs, I am feeling a little inadequate. Do they have anything for "Blog Envy"? I have been writing little snip-its here and there, but most of you guys (who are moms no less) write paragraphs of content. Maybe I am not as interesting as I thought I was! However, I am trying to push through my self-diminishing thoughts and continue on in my great Blog adventure.
So, in my effort to live a more natural and healthy life, I have been weaning myself off of my anti-depressants. Things were going well, "were" being the operative word, until about yesterday. Now, I think it is important to note that my depression is not psychological, but chemical (at least that is what my doctor told me) and runs in my family. Basically we are all NUTS! I am a happy, care-free, life-loving individual, but (and this is a big but) when I am not on my medication I will cry and not want to get out of bed for no reason whatsoever. And based on my experience, this is not a very productive way to live. So, like I said, things were going well until yesterday, it was about a week since I had my last fix of the meds, when I was sitting at a stop light on my way home from work and things just kind of stopped. Have you ever had a moment (when you were sober) when it seems like the powers that be just pushed the Pause button? So, I am sitting in my car and I felt like I had just been asked to solve the African AIDS epidemic. I had such an overwhelming feeling of pressure and anxiety, my eyes welled-up right there. I had to snap back to reality when the car behind me honked its horn because the light was green. I managed to make it home and safely to my bed where I tried to remind myself that I was a big girl and could handle this. So, anyways, now I am having doubts as to whether or not this whole clean living thing was such a good idea! I am hoping that if I give it a little more time things will get better...
6 comments:
You know, some if us suffer a sort of brain-to-keyboard filter deficiency and think everything is blog worthy. No? Just me, then?
The more you practice, the easier it gets.
Re: the depression...I feel ya. I've had it since I was around six, and it's got multiple sources. I don't medicate (I have my reasons and they don't belong here), so I grok what it's like to muddle through on your own. Welcome to the swamp, sister - watch out for the mosquitoes, they'll suck ya dry.
What's unnatural about wanting to have some balance, some happiness, anyway? If the meds work for you and you WANT to be on them, more power to ya! If the chemicals in the meds are on the periodic table, they're natural. Yeah.
You'll do fine here in blogopolis, and I look forward to reading you whenever you post.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
It's a tricky situation, antidepressants. My husband is on a low dose (and now, thanks to PPD, I am too) and every now and again, he'll decide to go off them. This has always been a Bad Idea.
But, that said, do what you feel is best (I am by no means saying that the world would feel better wrapped into a huge Prozac cloud) and we're here if you need us.
Depression is such a tricky thing....I wish you the best in finding what will work for you.
Blogging...hmmm....well I always think that my life is uber-boring. I figure that if I am bored and blogging about yet another pile of laundry that someone out there might at least be reading it to say to their friends..."I found the lamest blog today...." and bang! there they are on my blog. It is a great way to vent too!
I'm just now over from Stephanie's blog. I am not sure I can exactly relate to what you are going through, but I would like to offer support and just say hang in there. I wish I had better advice!
I can sooo relate. I tried to do 1/2 doses a few weeks ago (of Celexa) and all was well for about 2 weeks and then I hit the wall. My mood was suddenly BLACK.
It's not worth it for me to NOT take them at this point in my life.
I always have blog envy. I think everyone is a better, funnier, smarter writer than me.
I sometimes feel like heavy objects are falling on me from great heights...you mean that's not normal? I think adult life is just a huge pain in the ass.
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