Wednesday, April 23, 2008

An Amazon in Lumpa Land

I have finally emerged from the virtual black hole I have been calling home.  I don't know why my enthusiasm to write was so stunted, maybe I felt like I didn't have anything important to say.  But now that no one is probably going to read this, it doesn't really matter.  Actually I have just been lazy and not feeling at the top of my game.
I just remembered something funny that happened this weekend.  I had quite the "Amazonian" moment at my local Vons.  I was casually perusing the produce section for some avocados in my flip-flops and sundress, when I was approached by an employee.  Now, I say "approached," but it was more like hunted down.  He was across the room stocking some tomatoes and felt the need to make a bee-line towards me. He was like a lion hunting his prey and before I knew it, he was upon me. Wide-eyed and mouth agape, he sidled up beside me.  An important note to make is that as a tall girl- 5'11- I have grown accustomed to the idiotic questions and banter ("Duh, you must have played basketball" or "Garsh, are you a model?" or some other completely boneheaded statement that has nothing to do with me as a person!) that harangue a woman of my stature during introductions, however when a complete stranger comes up to me and begins making asinine remarks, it tends to really irritate me.  So, as I am trying to choose an avocado worthy of my famous guacamole, this man, all 5'4 of him comes up to me and in a heavy Mexican accent asks, "Geez, how tall are you?! and you're not even wearing heels."  He then embarks on a 5 minute rant about how tall I am and that I never have to wear high heels and how tall I am!  Oy!  I did my best to be civil and brush him off as soon as possible, but he just wouldn't let it go.  I mean, I don't go up to short people and ask them how short they are and go on about how cute their little feet are, and I don't go up to really obese people and say, "Wow, you are so fat, how much do you weigh?"  Why is it perfectly acceptable to oggle  tall people?  I understand that if you are "vertically challenged" and wish you were taller, you would envy a tall person.  But I wish I had bigger boobs, that doesn't mean I go up to women with a nice rack and ask them their bra size and cop a feel!  I guess I should take it as a compliment, but sometimes it makes me feel like a Ripley's Believe It or Not Attraction.  So, power to the tall women and the short men who admire them! (But, hey Men, admire from a distance!)


Aunt Becky said...

That's so rude. It always amazes me the crap that people say to people and think that it's okay.

When I had my last son, people were ALWAYS coming up to tell me how small he was. Which is weird because he was totally normal for his age.

RhoRho said...

Glad you're back. Come see me!

MereCat said...

I never understand why people make comments on physical traits unless it is a pure compliment. A simple observance is rarely enough to warrant a compliment and is always unappreciated.

Glad you're back.

Kyddryn said...

5' 10"

I feel your pain-in-the-neck.

Welcome back, btw...

Shade and Sweetwater,
K, who writes about nothing of import on a daily basis

Blue Momma said...

I have really blue eyes. Plus I used to also wear blue contacts. People would (and still occasionally do) come up to me out of the blue (pun intended) and ask me "Are those your real eyes?" Occasionally I'd say no, they are glass. Want me to pop one out?

People are oblivious to their rudeness.