The Diet-Coke of Evil, Only One Calorie, Not Evil Enough!

I was cracking myself up today thinking about what a bitch I am!  Here's the story...  I have a few hours to myself before my husband gets home from work (which is a godsend!) and sometimes I like to mess with him.  It only works because he is an anal, obsessive, Predictable, perfectionist and I take full advantage of this knowledge. Imagine that psycho husband in "Sleeping with the Enemy" but taken down a notch.  I know he would never pick a physical fight with me, because I could kick his scrawny ass, so I inflict a little mental warfare!  Instead of getting cheesed off when he follows behind me and straightens everything out the way he likes it, I mess things up on purpose.  Now, I'm not talking leaving laundry on the floor or God forbid, dishes in the sink, (he would probably put me in the village stocks), just subtle things that would not be noticeable to the normal human eye.  So, every once in awhile, as was the case yesterday, I play a little poltergeist. Get this, I decided to move the coasters to the side of our coffee table and, (are you ready for this?  I am so devious!) I skewed the dish towel that hangs on the oven door so that it hung uneven.  Now, I know in some countries I could be stoned for this kind of behavior, but the satisfaction I get is soooo worth it!  Here comes the best part.  So, I'm sitting on the couch and I hear his keys in the door , ooooo, I am gonna get him so good!  He walks in looks at me, says "Hi" and goes to the kitchen to set his stuff down, and this is how sick he is.  Before he even turns on the light, he drops his keys on the counter and goes to fix the towel!  I can tell he is a little annoyed and I try not to crack a smile.  When he comes into the living room, he looks around and I see a little squint, like he is thinking really hard.  I know, he knows something is out of place, but he can't figure out what it is. He walks over to the couch and before he says anything, he picks up the coasters, lines them up with the middle of the table (I was surprised he didn't get a compass) and sets them down.  He scours the room once more for anomalies, then proceeds to go upstairs to get on the computer. I didn't conceal my smirk as he diminished into the Bat Cave, but my satisfaction did raise some internal questions.   Is this passive-aggressive behavior wrong?  Taking advantage of one's handicaps for entertainment?  Am I a loser or what for getting such a kick out of this?  Man, I really need to get a life!  Then I watched the season finale of Project Runway and got over it.  However, I am already concocting my next evil scheme: "Operation Leave Dresser Drawer Ajar." Set to commence in early April, it will prove to be my most ambitious endeavor thus far! Sometimes my malisciousness frightens me!

Man, all this evil genius work is making me hungry,  I wish I had some Thin Mints!