Up the Stakes!

I just finished watching one of my favorite shows: MXC- Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.  I actually came across the original when I was living in Norway (which was dubbed in German for some reason) and a few years ago found the English dubbed version, which is hysterical!  I can't be the only one who love all these Japanese game shows because they keep popping up everywhere.  I think American TV needs to take some direction from these programs and keep up with the times.  You can't just play word puzzles or guessing games, you have to put your life on the line!  It's like that Schwarzenegger movie, Running Man.  American Gladiators and Fear Factor has come close, but I need a little more on the line than going up against roided-out meat heads and eating vile concoctions.  So, I was thinking about some of the ways we could re-vamp our shows to be a more competitive form of entertainment with our eastern brothers and sisters.

- The Apprentice would become Which Appendage?

- Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?/ Are You Quicker Than an Angry Gator?

- Dancing with the Stars/ Dancing with Jaguars

- Who Wants to be a Millionaire?/ Who Can Live Longer Without Air?

- Deal or No Deal/  Meal or No Meal (Choose the case with the most food)

- The Moment of Truth/  The Moment of Truth (Except you are connected to electrical circuits, if you lie, you get zapped!)

- American Idol/ Outrun a Tidal (Wave)

Okay, now I'm stretching!  But you know what I mean. I guess it's not fair cuz I don't watch any of those shows, but I think I would if producers would take a cue from these more outrageous programs, they could really be on to something.  And maybe relieve a little problem I call "over-population."  What? Did I go too far?  Ahhhhh, I am a little buzzed right now.  I had to bitch-slap my husband for messing with my socks.  I mean come on, who pulls off a woman's sock?  Honestly! Just when I had maintained the perfect mean body temperature.   

Anywhoo, if you are as enthralled as a I am by the willingness of people to brutalize their bodies for entertainment there is some great stuff out there!  Check out : Human Tetris or  MXC . It's all good fun, ladies and yentleman!

Los Gatos

I just realized that I have never posted any pics of the characters who actually run my house.  Of course, they let my husband and I believe we are in charge, but when it comes down to it, we are just mindless robots who do their bidding.  Here they are on their pimp chair.  I could probably make a fur sweater out of all the hair that has collected in its dark crevices.  Is there a market for cat hair sweaters?  We adopted them about 7 months ago, so their past is a little sketchy.  They had to do some things on the street that they aren't proud of but we love them unconditionally and are helping them work through their issues.  They look so innocent don't they?  But I think we are only instruments for their eventual take-over of the world.  I could go on all day about my cats, but I won't.  If you'd like to hear more you can send me a special request and I'd be happy to oblige.  I won't go so far as starting their own blog, which apparently some pet owners do, but they have a special sort of club that I don't think I am hip enough to be a part of.  (I love ending sentences with prepositions!  Hah, take that high school English teachers!)  

It is my second day of being off work and I am already bored.  Plus I think I gained about 5 lbs. from watching so much Food Network.  Now, granted I love those cooking shows, but I can't help thinking that we have an entire channel dedicated to food and cooking. No wonder Americans are viewed as greedy and capitalistic.  Here we are cooking and wasting food for entertainment when there are millions of people in the world who are dying of starvation.  I mean, honestly, unless all that prepared food is going to a soup kitchen, I can only assume it feeds the crew or winds up in the trash bin.  I am not trying to be all righteous, ( I don't think it's even possible) I guess I was just feeling guilty today.  My soapbox was getting a little dusty so I had to clean it off  and give it some love.   Stay tuned for more meaningless rants and raves ...

Fresh Meat!

It is kind of sad that I already consider my meat old!  That doesn't sound right at all!  The meat I am referring to, is Blog Meat.  A very good friend of mine just started her own blog about the adventures of preschool teacherdom.  She is really great and  I think you should check her out at Preschoolers Gone Wild.  We are co-teachers for a class of 3-year-olds, I know, they actually let me teach children.  Actually I just play and yell all day, but it is an exact science.  40% Play and 60% Yell.  

That's all for now... I am beat!  Buenas Noches Bitches!

Fresh Meat

Peep Show!

Greetings my loyal subjects!  (Don't mind my self-flattery, just a little validation to keep me getting out of bed in the AM)  I haven't had anything to bitch about lately and realized that I don't just have to write about grievances.  So, in current news...

I am 90% convinced that aliens have snatched my husband and replaced him with a replicant!  There is no other way to explain his drastic change in attitude and outlook! He is funny, goofy, sweet and treating me like his loving wife. (I'm pretty sure he hasn't picked up any new drug habits)  But, I  find myself on edge waiting for the  day the aliens realize what they got themselves into and send my original husband's ass hurtling back to earth!  I have been trying to relax and enjoy this new-found peaceful vibe, without worrying how long it will last.  I am hoping if I can just believe it, it will be permanent!  

In other news, I don't have to work next week!  Hallelujah, praise Odin!  A whole week to sleep past sunrise, drink a cup of tea in my jammies and enjoy the peace and quiet!  Except for the occasional freight train that blows through my backyard wailing on its horn, things are pretty mellow out here.

Don't have any plans for Easter.  We don't have kids and I am not what you would call the "religious type"  so I think we'll just be lazy and eat a box of Peeps!  Man, those things are gross, but it's tradition.

I am excited because it is Wednesday and that means Top Chef is on.  I am so glad they planned it to take the place of Project Runway because I would have had a hard time making it over Hump Day without it!

I won't bore you with anymore menial information, just wanted to check in and make sure you didn't forget about me!  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and enjoyed the Peep show!

Do You Ever Feel Like Curly?

Another Year Bites the Dust!

Cheers!  Happy Birthday to Me!

After being sick all last week, my birthday extravaganza has included a lunch at CPK (that's California Pizza Kitchen to the layman) and shopping with a gift card I received for Christmas.  I'm not complaining, I'm quite content with the lack of festivity. I would rather horde my money than blow it all on a party or force my friends to go to an over-priced dinner.  In these trying times I really feel it is best for everyone if we just let it go.  Besides, they can make it up to me on my 30th!  

It was actually an emotionally enlightening weekend.  In my previous post I alluded to some life-changing decisions that would coincide with my birthday, which I had forgotten about due to the incessant ringing in my ear and the flow of mucus pouring out of my nose and the infected sinus-induced haze (TMI, I know.)  I was going to make that, like, the longest run-on sentence ever, but I didn't have it in me.  Anyways, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah, life-changing yada- yada...  Without even realizing it, I let go of some major resentment I had been holding towards my husband.  One of the reasons I have been so worried about the success of our marriage was that I was mentally unable to release the anger and resentment I was feeling towards him.  I thought it was going to be one of those things that would perpetually hinder us from moving forward ( and more importantly, getting FREAAKY!)  I woke up on Saturday, it was like any other day, and went about my business.  You know, making the bed, having some tea, scrubbing the skidmarks off the carpet where my cat dragged his ass, typical Saturday morning.  Only this Saturday when my husband went out to clean our fish pond, I actually wanted to go sit outside with him.  I know I talk a lot of shit, and I mean most of it, but in my heart I really love the guy and I know he loves me.  I don't know if the virus affected my brain somehow, but for the first time in about a year, I really enjoyed his company.  We spent the day relaxing, went to dinner and a movie, we held hands, and are you ready for this?  I not only got to 3rd base, I went all the way!  And I wasn't even drunk!  The next day I told him I didn't want to be angry anymore and I was ready to forgive him.  I really hope this is a turning point in our relationship and we can remember what it was like to be in love.  Ahhhhh, that's amore!

Oh, but don't worry, I am still going to torture him and plan malevolent pranks to inflict upon him, however they will all be conceived and orchestrated with love!  As Mr. Burns would say,"Exxccellent."